Saturday, September 19, 2026 | 10am to 6pm Pacific Time
you have been carrying.
Heal old wounds and reclaim your peace in a one day live intensive
designed to help you stop hurting and start forgiving.
Course Video Coming Soon
The Alchemy of Forgiveness introduction video will be available here soon.
You already know what still hurts.
You know what you have been struggling to forgive.
- Sometimes it is an event that wounded us so deeply we have never been the same since.
- Sometimes it is something a person did that we have simply never been able to let go of.
- Sometimes it is a person we cannot imagine ever being at peace with again, because of everything they did.
- Sometimes it is not just one event, but many, a pattern that wounds us in the same place again and again until the wound runs deep.
- Sometimes unforgiveness rules us from the shadows long after the moment has passed, or even long after the person has passed away.
- And sometimes the person we are struggling to forgive is the one person we can never escape: ourselves.
What unforgiveness costs you
We tell ourselves that our resentment is punishing them. It is not. Unforgiveness is not a noble virtue, and it is never truly protective. It is poison. It is a poison we drink ourselves, hoping somehow it harms the one who wronged us, when in truth it only corrodes our own hearts, diminishes our capacity for joy, and quietly damages our ability to be close to anyone at all.
It keeps us locked in an emotional prison of our own making. Sometimes the sentence we are serving is for something we truly did. Sometimes it is for something small that we somehow turned into a life sentence without the possibility of parole. And sometimes we are the ones serving time for a crime committed against us. However we arrived there, the punishment does not heal the wound. It only keeps us returning to it, reliving it, and paying for it again.
The cost shows up everywhere.
- In our health. In our sleep.
- In our relationships.
- In our inability to trust.
- In how we see ourselves.
- In how we view others.
We carry the weight for so long that we end up telling ourselves we are stronger for having carried it. In truth, most of us have simply learned to manage the burden instead of releasing it, surviving rather than thriving. When we feel trapped by unforgiveness, every new person in our life ends up paying a tax on a debt they never created.
You have been told to "forgive and move on," as if forgiveness were something available on demand, something you can decide and be done with, instead of being a process nobody ever taught you how to move through.
people tell us to forgive but nobody ever teaches us how. So how can you?
From lead to gold.
The path of alchemy is the ancient process of turning lead into gold. However, alchemy is not just about metals. It is about the refinement, purification, and transformation of the self.
Resentment, malice, hate, and the slow burn of unforgiveness are the lead: heavy, dull, and toxic to the body, mind, and soul, especially when carried too long. They damage your relationships, wound your heart, and ultimately only serve to hide the gold that is already within you.
Ancient alchemists understood something we have forgotten: you do not become gold by adding something new. You become gold by burning away, dissolving, and releasing everything that was never truly you.
In this one day intensive, you will walk that path and discover how forgiveness is perhaps the most important and most powerful part of that work. You will be shown the whole of the path, begin walking it together, and leave knowing how to continue on your own.
Together we will take the weight you arrive with, the lead, and begin to release it, so the gold underneath can start to shine through.
You will leave with a process you know how to use, and with less of the burden you walked in carrying.
What forgiveness makes possible
Imagine thinking back to that event, that moment, that person you struggled for so long to forgive and feeling... nothing. No struggle, no burden, no pain, no fear, no anchor dragging you down, holding you back, or keeping you stuck in the past.. Imagine all the energy you have spent suffering with those wounds suddenly available to help you build your life, your relationships, your peace. Imagine that event becoming something you learn from, grow from, find peace from, and heal from, instead of something you suffer from each time you relive it in your mind, each time you are reminded of it.
Forgiveness is not weakness, and it is not condoning what happened. It is choosing to free yourself from the prison of resentment so you can heal and align with who you really are. It replaces heartache, resentment, and hate for something you cannot change with the courage to truly love yourself. It breaks the cycle of hurt for a hurt that leaves the whole world hurting. Forgiveness gives you the power to finally ensure that the cycle of hurting ends right here, right now, with you.
Most forgiveness teaching hands you a command.
This hands you a process.
Most forgiveness teaching hands you a command. This hands you a process.
Worse, forgiveness is often taught as an order:
- Forgive, or something is wrong with you.
- Forgive, or you are the one failing.
- Forgive, or you will be punished.
Taught that way, instead of being healing or freeing, not knowing how or being unable to forgive becomes just one more thing to feel guilty about, one more layer of punishment and pain layered on top of the original wound.
That is not forgiveness. That is a lack of compassion hiding behind a command. It tells your pain to wear a mask instead of handing you a process to heal it.
Three things make this day different.
- It follows the alchemical path. This is not a list of tips or tricks. It is a full day designed to guide you through an alchemical process, the same process used for centuries to turn lead into gold. During this event you will learn that process and apply it to your own life.
- It includes one part almost all other courses on forgiveness leave out. Most forgiveness workshops teach you to forgive others and, if you are fortunate, to forgive yourself. Almost none of them teach you how to seek forgiveness for the harm you have caused, or what to do when the person you wronged is unwilling, unreachable, or gone, or when contacting them would do more harm than good.
- It ends with application, not information. You will not be taught some principles, handed some tools, and then left to fend for yourself. Everything you learn in the morning, you put into practice that same day, while also leaving with the tools you will need to keep doing this work long after the day ends.
What happens during the intensive
You will spend the morning learning and preparing yourself for the work of forgiveness that lies ahead, and then, together, we will spend the rest of the day doing the work.
The shape of the day
Morning. The teaching. What forgiveness is, what it is not, why it is so hard, what it costs us when we cannot forgive, and how forgiveness actually works.
Preparing yourself for the work of forgiveness, then a longer break for lunch and reflection before the work begins.
Forgiving yourself, then learning to seek forgiveness for the harm you have caused, then forgiving those who have hurt you.
Releasing what cannot be amended, for those who have died, who cannot be reached, or who it would be unwise to contact.
What you will learn
- Why forgiveness is so hard, and why so much of what we were taught about it made it harder.
- What forgiveness actually is, how it works, and why it matters.
- What forgiveness is not: it is not excusing, not forgetting, and not automatic reconciliation.
- The shadow side of forgiveness, including forgiveness taught as a command that invites more punishment, and forgiveness used to bypass what still needs to be worked through, amended, healed, or released.
- The difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and how to know which one is resonant and available to you. Forgiveness releases your burden. Reconciliation requires mutual willingness and happens on the terms of the one who was wounded, or not at all.
- The relationship between mercy and justice, and how to hold both without betraying either.
- How unforgiveness can amount to cruel and unusual punishment, and how we sentence ourselves and others to it without ever acknowledging it.
- The difference between the guilt that leads to transformation and reconciliation and the shame that leads to self sabotage, stagnation, and separation.
- How to make amends on the terms of the one who was wounded rather than on your own terms, and what to do if someone is not open to it or making amends is not available.
- Why forgiveness is a spiritual practice, not just a mental and emotional one.
- What to do if the anger, resentment, or unforgiveness we carry is directed toward the Divine itself.
- How to actually forgive, step by step, so you leave with a process rather than a promise
The work you will do
You will be guided through three forgiveness processes, in the order that makes each possible, and then close the day by releasing what remains.
Forgive yourself. You cannot give what you do not have, so all forgiveness has to start with you. Through this process you will learn how to compassionately take accountability for your actions, acknowledge their impact, gracefully accept their consequences, learn how to make amends and reparations where possible, rediscover your inner innocence, and ultimately learn how to forgive yourself.
Seek forgiveness. This is the part almost nobody teaches: how to make amends and seek forgiveness for what you have done, and what to do when the person you wounded is unwilling to communicate, unwise to contact, or unavailable to seek forgiveness from.
Forgive those who hurt you. Learn how to release yourself and others from the debts you have been collecting on. Learn how to forgive others without making excuses for or diminishing what happened, and without needing anything from them to forgive them.
Release what remains. At the end of the day you will be given the opportunity to forgive or seek forgiveness from those you can no longer speak with, so that no aspect of forgiveness is left untouched, even the parts you assumed were closed to you forever.
All of this is work you will do for yourself and in honor of yourself. It will not require another person to change, apologize, understand, or even know you have done it. Forgiveness releases the weight of unforgiveness from within you, and that burden is yours alone to set down.
What you will learn during this day is how to grant yourself that release, how to exercise this freedom, and how to keep giving the gift of forgiveness to yourself for the rest of your life, anytime something new or old needs to be released.
How the day is held
This is deeply private, sacred, and vulnerable work, and it will be held that way. You move at your own pace. Whatever you are willing and ready to release, we will help you release. Whatever you are not, you will leave with the tools you need to do that work within yourself, in your own time.
There will be moments where you are invited to share what you are facing with another person, and only invited, because you will never be required to speak a word of it out loud. Forgiveness is a process, and it is a gift you give to yourself. So in that we will hold space for you as you navigate that process in your own way and in your own time.
This intensive is for you if...
- You are carrying resentment toward someone who hurt you, and you are tired of it running your inner life
- You were betrayed by someone you trusted, and you have never fully been able to trust anyone since
- You are still carrying resentment, hurt, or shame for something a parent or family member did, or did not do
- You are estranged from someone you love, and you want to know whether it can be repaired, or how to heal even if it cannot
- The person you need to make peace with has died, and you fear that means it is too late to forgive them or seek their forgiveness
- You did something you cannot forgive yourself for, and you have been punishing yourself ever since
- You want to seek forgiveness from someone, and you have no idea how to begin
- You are ashamed of who you used to be, even though you are no longer that person
- You have "moved on" on the outside while something inside you clearly has not
- You replay the same conversation, the same moment, the same argument, and you need it to stop
- You notice the cost in your body: the illness, the exhaustion, the anxiety, the emotional weight that has become too much to carry
- You find yourself guarded with people who never hurt or wronged you
- You carry shame from religious teachings around forgiveness, or you are angry at God and have never felt allowed to say so
- You have read the books, done the therapy, said the words, and something still has not shifted, released, or started to heal
- You want to forgive, and you are finally ready to be shown how
Your guide for the day
Hi, I’m Don Hamm. I know firsthand what it is like to try everything and still feel broken. I spent over $300,000 on therapy, medications, silent retreats, and spiritual practices, and I still found myself at rock bottom. It took surviving two near death experiences, and then having to learn how to be at peace with being alive, to show me what was missing.
I have lived through abuse, heartbreak, and the kind of pain that made love feel like a myth. For years I carried the guilt, pain, and shame of what had been done to me and what I had done to others, and both almost cost me my life. Unforgiveness stole my joy and my sleep, eroded my peace and my health, and led me to push away everyone who mattered to me, until it was hard to be close to anyone at all, even myself. Addictions, depression, and isolation became the story of my life. It took years before I realized I was not punishing anyone but myself. I did that for a very long time.
What finally freed me was not just learning about forgiveness. It was being reminded I was already forgiven by the Divine, being taught how to seek forgiveness and make amends to those I had harmed, and being shown how to forgive myself as well as others along the way. I discovered the alchemical process I now teach, and forgiveness became one of the most powerful gifts I was able to offer myself and others on my long road of healing and recovery.
The weight I had assumed I would always carry, and never be able to bear, turned into the gift I now have the honor and pleasure to share with you and guide you through. Truly, from the heaviest and darkest lead in my life has come the greatest gold. This event is part of that gold.
As the founder of XLR8yOurLife and the creator of The Alchemy of Desire, The Alliance Method, and The Alchemy of Forgiveness, I take people through these same teachings and processes that led to my own transformation. I am grateful to be able to share them now with you. I do not offer spiritual bypassing or quick fixes. I offer practical paths to total life transformation for anyone willing to walk them.
Everything included with your seat
1: The full one day intensive, led live on Zoom (8 hours, with breaks)
2: The Alchemy of Forgiveness Workbook, yours to keep, containing every process we walk through so you can work through anything you were not able to get to during the intensive
3: Forgiveness Across Traditions, a digital guide to how many of the world's great wisdom traditions have understood forgiveness and how to do this work
4: 90-day replay access to the intensive, including the guided process segments, so you can catch anything you missed or walk through the process again on your own
5: Founders bonus: lifetime access to The Alchemy of Forgiveness online course and community when it launches
Reserve your seat
Saturday, September 19, 2026 | 10am to 6pm Pacific Time | Live on Zoom
Includes the workbook, Forgiveness Across Traditions, 90-day replay access, and the Founders bonus.
Your seat is fully refundable up to 48 hours before the intensive. Within 48 hours of the event, your seat transfers to a future intensive, so you never lose what you paid for.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I am not sure I want to forgive them?
You are welcome exactly as you are. Ambivalence is not a disqualification, it is the honest starting point for many who do this work. Forgiveness does not ask you to forget what happened, to excuse it, or to pretend you are not angry. It also never requires you to see, speak to, or let anyone back into your life. It is something you do on your own terms and for your own freedom. You are free to arrive uncertain, and you are free to leave having released only what you were ready to release.
What if I do not know what I need to forgive?
Many people feel the weight of something that needs to be released without being able to name its source. Part of the morning is spent helping you discover what you are carrying, so you do not need to arrive already knowing what you want or need to forgive. We will help you figure that out for yourself throughout the day.
Do I have to share my story with the group?
No. You will never be required to speak or share. There can be real healing in finding the courage to share something you have been holding onto, or hiding from others and even from yourself, out of shame or fear. Being forced to say or do something you are not ready for tends to wound rather than heal. For this reason, you will be in control of what you share and what you do not throughout the day.
Whether you choose to share something you have struggled to forgive or feel unable to forgive yourself for is up to you. You will be invited to share, but only invited. Nobody will ask you to open something you do not feel ready to open, and if speaking about it would take you past what you can manage in a healthy way, the right choice is to keep it private for now. There is a great deal of work you will do during this day that can help you heal without saying a word of it out loud to another person.
Will the intensive be recorded?
The teaching and guided process segments are recorded so that you have the replay afterward. Breakout rooms are never recorded, anything you share stays within the group, and you are never required to appear on camera or speak. If you would rather not appear in the recording at all, simply let us know and we will make sure you do not.
How many people will be there?
The intensive is capped at 20 participants so the room stays small enough for us to support each person as they move through this work.
Does forgiving someone mean letting them back into my life?
No. Forgiveness releases your burden. Reconciliation is a separate choice that requires mutual willingness and safety, and it happens on the terms of the one who was wounded, or not at all. We cover this distinction directly.
Is this religious?
This is a spiritual class, though it is not tied to any one religion or spiritual tradition. We begin the morning by talking about the Divine, and the day draws on both spiritual wisdom as well as science. People of any faith, and people of none, are welcome and will find many of the teachings and tools practical, useful, and usable.
If you have limited interest in, or would be uncomfortable with the spiritual dimension of this work, please consider whether you will be able to fully engage with or benefit from this intensive before you enroll.
What time zone is the intensive held in?
The intensive runs from 10am to 6pm Pacific Time, which is 1pm to 9pm Eastern Time. Please check the start time in your own time zone before you enroll.
What if I cannot attend the whole day live?
We do strongly recommend attending the live one day event in its entirety. The whole process has been designed to follow an alchemical path and to be completed over the course of one full day. During the live event you will also be able to connect directly with our team, so any questions get answered and any support you need is there in real time.
This can be challenging work to walk through alone, especially the first time, and when watching a replay it can be tempting to break the process into parts rather than complete it once you have begun. Attending the full event gives you the opportunity to move through the entire process, and lets us support you as you engage in this important work.
That said, after the event ends you will have 90-day replay access to the intensive, including the guided process segments, so you can catch up on anything you missed or walk through the process again on your own. Do not feel like you should not enroll if you cannot be there for all of it, or that you will be missing out if something keeps you away at the last minute.
What if my wound involves serious abuse or trauma?
You are welcome here. Forgiveness work never requires you to minimize what happened, to excuse anyone, or to contact anyone who has harmed you. This intensive is education and spiritual practice rather than therapy, and it does not replace care you may be receiving.
If you are working with a therapist or another mental health professional, we would encourage you to let them know you are undertaking this work. If you have concerns about what might come up for you, contact us here before you enroll. We will help you decide honestly whether this is the right fit, whether this is the right time, or whether there are other ways we can guide and support you on your healing journey.
What do I need?
A computer with Zoom, a private space where you will not be interrupted, your workbook, and something to write with. We will email you the workbook before the intensive so you can print it or keep it open on your screen.
I have a question that is not answered here.
Contact us here and we will get back to you with the answer.
The weight of the past is heavy. You have carried it long
enough.
What happened, happened. How much longer must you suffer with it? How much longer is it allowed to continue to wound you? When will you finally be ready to let it go?
If you feel your soul crying out,
"I want freedom. I want to release this burden. I
am ready to heal,"
know that this day can be that day.
So, when will you be ready to give yourself that gift? It is up to you to decide.
I'M READY TO FORGIVENot ready yet?
Forgiveness happens at its own pace. In order to help serve and support
you on your healing journey, we would like to send you
Forgiveness Across Traditions free of charge. It explains and explores
how many of the world's great wisdom traditions have taught and
understood forgiveness throughout the ages, and reveals how it may
differ from what you have been taught or led to believe.
Please enjoy it as our gift to you.
We will send you the guide and occasional emails about our work.
You
can unsubscribe at any time, and we never share your information.
